Thursday, April 08, 2004

WOW, okay so i just found this letter to myself that i wrote when i was 17, Jenn Margeson had it and sent it back to me to inspire me ( thats what friends are for...)she sent me three inspirational letters and i just opened the third one while spring cleaning my closest...and so i thought i would share it with you since as crazy as it is, it is all so relevent now, where i am at in my life......

" I sit here and write this letter of who i want to be, and soon conclude it is a mystery to me.. I ponder what i have done in my life ( at seventeen?) and realize that i am a dreamer focusing on far off lands with kingdoms and castles that my Nova Scotia heart may never invade, and then on the other hand i am a realist settling no-compromising- for a small lifestyle decorated with the sweet fruits of life, a simple existence. I later confess that like the childhood dreams of many i too lay awake and invision a lifestyle of fortune and fame not even my name in the stars, i would settle for lights at the local bingo hall, It's however as i draw near the end of my thoughts that i realize or recognize that my dreams.. my ideas all circle one prospect, a world of complete happiness, not false happiness that you pretend to hold but the type that comes with faults, losses, new beginnings and bright ideas. It may take misdirection and choices hard to make, long hours of sorrow that i can accept as long as when i see a good movie, recognize an old classmate, hear a laughing child or relax in a warm bath, I am able to sit back and say I am Happy to be here, just happy to be alive...."

wow, pretty deep for my seventeen year old head and yet it feels still so relevent to me, I am here trying to make this "Happy" life with new beginnigs (which come of some other beginnings end) and hard long hours of real Tanya Like Life pondering moments...and i think i am doing pretty good ... ( i will admit the thoughts of seeing everyone in July do keep me truckin....)

happy reading

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