Change:
It is strange that the word alone scares me, when I think about it happening I want to fight it. To tell you the truth I have never really questioned this feeling a deep fear of a ...Word. Until now, I've got this new job and instead of excitement I feel terror, a sweaty palm, head hurting, stomach ache terror, and all my mind continues to do is reel with wonderment, how did I get this job how do I let myself change? I go through these expected routines, I pass out the resumes, I do the follow-up phone calls, I go to the interview and in my perfectionist brain I try to strive to succeed, but then whammo I have got a new job How could I let this happen....
Change:
Listed as my biggest fear (besides that of the dark) the word change in neon lights defiantly makes me tremble. And I know this is odd, everyone changes most people welcome it, I mean who wants to go through life without gaining or losing anything, where would your family be your love, your character??? And without getting too confusing It is not like I don't welcome new things, I just freak out abit as they are coming...okay freak out a lot. Sometimes when I meet new people I can't recall there name because the whole time they are introducing themselves I am wondering how they will fit into my grand scheme of things, will they be a friend, a foe, will I never talk to them again.....how will they change my life if any at all??
Change:
I went home and saw my friends last month, and we have all changed. Some have gained families (Greg, greers) some new homes, new jobs and yet when we were all together it was like a time warp these girls sitting together gossiping, laughing, sharing, and I have to wonder was I the only one who felt the inevitable change monster hovering over our shoulders as are laughter filled the room, or does friendship just get richer, deeper and sorts evolves into something stronger that change doesn't reach......ahh such things to ponder over a morning cup of tea.....