Saturday, January 22, 2005

I miss my boyfriend...
-- I used to think that absence did make the heart grow fonder but now that mark is away all the time in a selfish way I don't truley believe that is true, I kindof get into this mode... I watch what I want to watch I eat when I want to eat, I clean the house when i get around too it or all the time depending on my mood... and in talking to Mark every night I don't really think he thinks that absence makes his heart any fonder either, which may sound wierd because we love each other but I think we don't have to be away or close to know that and if I really focused so much on the fact that he was away and i missed him it would make it so much harder for him to go so instead we just deal with it that this is his work and I have school and work to bid my time... one thing does make me miss him very much and that would be.....being sick
---This week I think may be the sickest I have been in a really long time, I had the stomach flu that had me running to the bathroom every 18 minutes like clockwork to empty the already empty stomach and if that wasn't bad enough I was dizzy and tired and couldn't even keep water down for three days, my first instinct was that I wanted my momma and then I was like where is my mark....tear but I am feeling a little better had some solid food today and so far so good.... I guess that is what happens had my birthday on Monday which makes me offically not in my early twenties and then whamo... I get sick, my bones ache, I am tired geez really falling apart...
---And then onto the work word.......gross, Okay so it is not awful but it is not all that it is cracked up to be, if it even is cracked up to be anything good at all, not sure??
anyways should go study for this hardearned education...
later t

1 comment:

Amy said...

Oh Tanya!
That totally sucks that you were so sick. Glad you are better but how lonely to be that sick and so far away from your loveys.
It is hard to live your life when your heart is half here and half with Mark, you just hang in there, one day when he has left the toilet seat up one too many times or forgot to rinse his plate off you will look back at all this 'alone time' and be wistful about it!
Take care,